A Christmas Break!

Yay, Christmas is coming! I have one more day left and then I get two weeks off for Christmas and I CANNOT WAIT! It’s been a bit of a bummer to be away from home in the weeks leading up to Christmas. However, we have a wonderful tree here in the home where I am staying and the Christmas music is abundant on the radio.
This break also means that I am more than half way through my course. After January, I should be home more than I am away before ending my course in April. Yahoo to that! We are all realizing how quickly time is flying by and how much work we have yet to do before completing our program. It’s busy, but very exciting at the same time.
And I have to remember that – this is only for a short time and I finally have an opportunity to do something that I have always wanted to do. Because of that, I am not allowed to complain about things! I need to remember how very special this is and how hard everyone at home is working to support me in reaching my goal.
Tomorrow my classmates and I are going out for a Christmas lunch during out spare. I should be working, but it’s also important to spend time with my new friends. I’ve met a great bunch of people and will miss the jokes and friendships when this comes to a close.

Merry Christmas!

Time Flying By

There are moments when you want time to pass by quickly – for example when you are sitting in a lecture that is far from stimulating. Then, there are times when you simply want the clock to stop moving – such as when everyone is snuggled together on the couch watching a movie.
These days, time seems to be flying by just a little too quickly. Now, part of me is ok with this because it means I will be done school and back home to stay before you know it. The other side of me does not want the time to move too fast because it means my kids will be just that much closer to finishing another year of school. Their lives are moving too quickly for me so accelerating their youth does not sit well with me. However, there is nothing that I can do about the passage of time, so I need to simply enjoy every moment that we have.
Lucky for me, I have two wonderful kids that still like to have me around. They enjoy watching movies together and spending time together. Their social lives have not taken off yet… so I am enjoying their company for as long as I can.
Tuesday morning was time for my usual drive back to the city. I came across a deer that had been hit and was still lying across my side of the road. A helpful plow driver was cautioning me with his flashing headlights so that I would slow down. After passing by this sad situation, I found myself becoming overwhelmed with emotion. I had not hit the deer, but I guess I was thinking of how sad it is that these collisions occur. Then this made me think about how lucky I have been to stay safe on the roads. Which led me to think about a young father who recently lost his wife and baby in a car accident. In an instant, his world was destroyed. It’s just not fair. So here I am in my car, driving in darkness, missing my family, and trying not to cry.
Life is filled with opportunities and misfortunes that we will never understand. My grandma always told me to “go while you can, Bon.” and do everything while I am able. I am trying to live out her advice – even if just a little.

Diiner For Two

Last week my daughter wanted me to just lay on the bed with her for a while. We relaxed, we talked and we just spent some time together doing absolutely nothing. She decided that we should do a mother-daughter activity some time soon. I thought that was a great idea and we decided on lunch.

The next weekend arrived and she was all excited. We decided we should try to do something “spa-like” before our lunch date. We did each other’s nails. She decorated mine with flowers and, aside from cotton ball fuzz sticking to the polish, I think they looked pretty good. She picked the spot for lunch and we left the boys behind.

At our table for two, we talked about how school was going, how she was enjoying her activities and if she was OK with me being away so much. I had one of those proud mother moments when she told me that she was really happy for me because I was going after something that I have always wanted to do. She reminded me that this was one of my dreams and how I am always telling them to do that. What a great kid! It could also be the fact that I am not home telling her what to do!

Lunch was very nice and I even splurged for dessert. We got some deep-fried ice cream (which was huge) and shared it.

The November day was beautiful and we ended our special time with some fun in the playground. These are the moments where all the craziness of life makes it all worth while.

Family Time Is Important!

For three weeks now I have been driving back and forth – 2 hours each way – for my work placement as part of my course. The experience has been incredible however this driving is really tiring me out. The trade-off is though, that I have been able to be home with my family in the evenings. This is worth all of the sleep that I am missing. It is so nice to be back home with my family – to sit together, tuck them into bed, and just be together under the same roof!
My daughter asked me to lie on the bed with her at bedtime last week and it hit me that maybe she is struggling at times with me being away. She has been very supportive and not really shown any signs of problems but maybe she just needed some time of being together – just the two of us. This past weekend we decided that this coming weekend we would have a girls night out. Well, actually it will be a girls lunch out, but you get the picture. She’d like to go out for lunch and do something together. I think this is a great idea and once I am all done my course in May, I plan to take her out for a real girls day and we’ll go to the spa or do something really special.
My son, on the other hand, wouldn’t be too thrilled with a day at the spa, so I’ll have to think about something that we could do together, too. Lunch would appeal to him, for sure, but I’ll try to come up with something for the two of us to do together, too.
As for my husband? He deserves some thanks, too, as he’s been running the house during this adventure, and I must say he’s not doing a bad job! I do like to remind him that he is basically doing what I’ve been doing for the past 13 years – just to keep him grounded!
There is no way I could be doing this course without the full support of my family and I look forward to being home all of the time and getting everything back to normal!

Doe - Yep! - A Deer...

Well, on Monday I left home at 6:30 in the morning for my work placement. It was cold and dark as I drove along the highway listening to the radio. I noticed some faint strips of colour in the sky just before 7:00 and was looking forward to seeing some sunshine for my 2 hour drive. Sunday night I was mentioning to my husband that part of me just did not want to go in the morning. The weekends are just way to short and I am really missing the kids. In a week I will be starting my 4 week placement and I plan on commuting so that I can be home every night. It is just so important to me to be home and tuck in the kids!

Anyway, I’m moving down the highway when suddenly in a flash I see the head of a deer in front of me. It all happened so quickly I had no time to react so the deer hit the front right corner of my car. I don’t think I swerved or even hit the breaks – it all happened in an instant. Of course, after that the panic set in.
I continued to drive my car because I didn’t want to pull over in the dark, I didn’t want to see the deer, and I didn’t know what to do! As my husband tried to calm me down on the cell phone (hands free, yes) I noticed that there was a new sound coming from the front wheel that shouldn’t be there. I began to realize that maybe there was some damage to my car. I suppose that happens when a deer collides with your vehicle traveling at 80 kph. At the next town I pulled over to discover that the hood, grill, passenger door and right fender were all damaged. Then the shock probably kicked in a bit more!

I phoned CAA (finally get to use them!) and the woman on the phone was really nice. She asked if I was ok and notified the police. She talked with me for a while to keep my company and I know she was trying to ease my mind with idle chatter. I appreciated it. After that I waited for the police to complete the report and eventually was driven back home with the tow truck.

What an ordeal! I have never had an experience like that and hope I never do again. It was very frightening.

So, this morning I had to leave the house at 5:00 and drive back to the city. I was a little reluctant to leave the house and was very nervous as I drove down the same black highway. I think I breathed a sigh of relief as I passed the dreaded spot but I still had both hands on the wheel and my eyes constantly checked the shoulders!
It could have been much worse. I had some specials angels watching out for me. But it does make you realize how a life can change drastically in the blink of an eye – actually, shorter than that. I think I’ll drive a bit slower from now on…

Halfway There

Well, I am 6 weeks into the program at teacher’s college. In some ways, it has really flown by. I look at the calendar and realize how close we really are to Christmas and reaching the half-way point in this adventure.

I miss my family terribly when I am away, but we can do this. My school placement begins in a couple of weeks and I am really looking forward to that. I will be in a town that is a bit closer to home so I will be able to commute every day. I can leave at 6:30 in the morning and be home by 6:00pm. That’s not bad. Some people have a schedule like that all the time. I was mentioning this new schedule to my son and he still thought I would be getting home late. Yep, it is late in his eyes. For most of his life I have been home in the morning when he leaves for school and I am there when he returns. Not many people have a schedule like that any more. That is one perk of self-employment: you have more control of your schedule and can fit in the work around family life. However, it also means that you are working in the evenings, early in the morning and on weekends. I must admit that I am looking forward to a more regular schedule as a teacher.

Thanksgiving weekend was awesome. It was so nice to have an extra day at home to spend with my family. We went to my parent’s for supper and didn’t have to rush away to get everyone to bed for school the next day. I like it when we don’t have to rush.
Tuesday morning I was up at my usual early hour and got ready for my drive. It’s still hard to drive away and look at the house where everyone is sound asleep. I miss not being there for them when they wake up.

My husband is doing a great job, I must admit, at keeping on top of the schedules and meals and actually, he’s even keeping the house tidy. It does save a lot of worry to know that they are getting along ok. But then again, he’s the guy and he’s not supposed to multi-task. That’s my job! Oh well, I guess I’ll let him continue to run the household – but only until the end of April and then it’s my job again.

Birthdays On The Road

Yesterday my son celebrated another teenage birthday. Now, I know because he is a teenager, I’m not allowed to put up balloons, hide candy, and play pin the tail on the donkey. However, it’s still an amazingly special day that I refuse to miss.

You see we have some traditions that cannot be left out. In the morning, the birthday-ee is honoured with breakfast in bed, is allowed to open one gift, and then waits impatiently through the entire day of school before opening more gifts and having supper with cake.
I also make sure that I videotape the birthday recipient in the morning in bed, at supper having some cake, and at the end of the day when tucked into bed. I have official birthday tapes that I build on each year. It’s fun to go back and see how much they’ve changed from year to year. And with boys, it is especially strange to hear their voice change from a boy to a man in a matter of a second.

Anyway, the morning of his birthday I had to leave early to go to a school event, but fortunately, I did not have to be on the road at my usual 5am. He asked me to wake him before I left at 6:30, so I came in the video camera and recorded a sleepy boy. I wished him well and then hit the road.

Little did he know, that I had secretly hidden sticky notes throughout the house to wish him more congratulatory messages! I put one in his shoe, the mirror, on the inside of the toilet seat,… you get the picture. I even put one in his lunch with a $2 coin instructing him to treat himself to something at lunch. Now that he’s in high school, it’s fun to buy food some times! I thought this would keep him entertained until I arrived home after school.

Because I was away all day, I was unable to make him a cake, or even prepare his favourite supper. So, he picked his restaurant of choice – Chinese – and I bought a Dairy Queen cake. Somehow buying a cake from DQ reduces the guilt. They say it’s a special treat, ok?

He opened his gifts, had a yummy dinner, ate the cake, (did some homework – how dare those teachers plan a test for the next day. Don’t they know??), and got tucked into bed for the official taping of bedtime.

All in all, I would say it was a successful birthday even if I was on the road.

Living In My Car

The first week of school, one of my classmates made the joke that I was living in my car. It was funny at the time because I had my laundry bag in the back, a box of cereal and a cooler full of food. I think one guy actually thought that I was living in my car. It would be possible, but thanks to my cousin, I have a great place to stay while at school.

As the weeks continue, I realize how much time I really do spend in my car. It’s sort of becoming an extension to where ever I am living at that moment. I use it to store things, relax in, eat my lunch, work in, and of course, move me to where I need to be. Here’s an example of life in my car:
Tuesday morning I was really tired for my early morning drive. I arrived to school at 7:15. 45 minutes to spare to that gave me time to relax and get organized before school. However, I decided to recline my seat and have a little nap. Not a good idea. It’s amazing how comfortable a car seat can become when you are really tired. I fell sound asleep. Lucky for me I woke up minutes before class. Next time I’ll have to set my alarm!

Each week I bring a cooler back and forth with my food. It’s actually really handy and I can come out at break to have some cold water or fresh fruit. I fell a bit like a construction worker, but hey, they are on to something because it’s a great idea! I keep my bag in the car for the Y, too, so after my swim, I lay out the towel to dry in the back.

I think you’re getting the picture. If people didn’t know the real story, it’d be totally believable to think that I was living in my car.

Last weekend I was in a hurry to get home and get at my homework when I met up with a funeral procession. The car in front of me had pulled over, out of respect, and I did the same. We waited for a few minutes as the long procession slowly moved along the street. At their sad time, it is a valuable reminder for the rest of us to stop and show our respect but to also remember that life is too short and we need to savour every moment that we have been given. Do they do this in the big cities? I can’t imagine people pulling over, but maybe they do.
Life is busy as we move from here to there. Let’s make sure we enjoy the ride.

Lockers, Roller Skating and High School...

Remember back to high school when you were all excited about finally getting a locker? Well, I get to go through that glory all over again. And guess what? I am still using the same lock! Only this time, I am expanding to two lockers because I just have too much stuff to squish into one tiny locker. Now I know how the kids felt when they complained to me about the lack of space in their tiny lockers. So, I’ve added one of those shelves – pink, of course – to give me some extra space in my regular locker and then I’ll use the 2nd locker for things I won’t need as often and for the dreaded winter boots and coat. How do these kids do it? I thought I was an organized person, but this 12” locker business is ridiculous.

In keeping with the high school theme, last week I went roller skating – or should I say roller bootin’. There’s an arena close to where I live that offers roller skating every Friday night – with music from the 80s, to complete the experience. So, I pulled out my old (not ancient, just old) boots and took my son and daughter. It was AWESOME! I was 13 again… uh, the same age as my kids. Ok, so maybe the moves weren’t what they used to be, but I could still stand up and move my feet around. It felt pretty good.

If only I could get back the memory I had in my youth to complete this whole experience. We have lots of reading to do every week and it’s a bit overwhelming. I’m finding it a bit challenging to read through all of the material, absorb it and recall the information for the following week. I suppose this will improve with practice, but sure isn’t the same as when I was younger. I enjoy reading and learning all of this new material. It’s exciting to be a student again. I was one of those weird kids that always liked school and have taken a number of courses over the years. So, to be taking a program that will result in a new career is very exciting.

One more sleep and I’ll be back home. I look forward to Thursdays. The day is long, but the end result is me arriving back home, hugging my kids and sleeping in my own bed. I find going to sleep the toughest part. My routine is all out of whack: I don’t have my kids to tuck into bed, I don’t have my cat to check on before I go to bed, and I don’t have my hubby to share the end of the day with. It’s difficult to go to sleep without this routine. Even though I am tired, I find that I put off going to bed because I just don’t want to -- it doesn’t seem right. On the positive side, I am SO thankful to be staying with my cousin. If I was alone in an apartment, it would be even worse…

That Dark And Lonely Highway

Alarm rings. It’s 4:10 a.m. I seriously think to myself “you can’t keep doing this every week. You should just stay home. Drop out you crazy person!” Negative thoughts continue to run through my mind as I prepare for the 3 hour drive. Everyone in the house is asleep—ok, all but the cat – so I peer through my window at a dark home as I drive away. I’m leaving my home, again. The kids and husband are all cozy in bed while I head off down that dark and lonely highway. Wait, that’s a song, isn’t it?
Radio sure is interesting in the early morning. On CBC Radio One I enjoy listening to news from Australia and Romania. It is interesting to hear their accents and find out what’s making the news around the world. I find the talk radio seems to soothe me in the early hours and keep my mind working so I don’t get too drowsy as I drive. There was a lot of fog this time, so that helped to keep me alert, as well. This makes me think about how my drives will change as the winter weather slowly approaches (please, every so slowly). It’s not going to be so easy to make the morning drives and I may have to break down and go down the night before. It’s incredible how important this extra night at home has become and I will hate to lose this. Hopefully we will have a mild winter and driving won’t be an issue.
Back at school I really don’t have time to worry about all of these things. It seems that every time I sit down they are handing us another assignment. That’s ok though, because the busier that I am while away, the faster the week will go. I try to get most of my work done so that I can spend the weekends with the kids. I know this won’t work out every weekend, but I’ll do my best! I also have the Monday at home to do work while they are at school and this was my plan for the week passed. The kids, of course, were lecturing me about doing all of my homework immediately and not waiting until the last minute!
Back on the home front, homework is being done, the cat is being fed, and meals are prepared. I suppose they can handle things without me and I suppose I’ll have to get used to that concept! I was reading in the paper about how moms now text their teens to nag about chores, etc. So, I suppose if I really wanted to, I could text my kids with reminders…if they had phones.

My Two Worlds

Now I’m not getting paid by Skype to promote their product or anything, but it really is a handy thing. At bedtime, I was talking with my family. My daughter and I had a chat and after that I put the laptop on the floor and we did some exercises together. It really does help with closing the distance. It’s so much better to speak to them and see their faces rather than just hear their voice.
As my first week draws to a close, I am looking forward to time at home with my family. One advantage of studying away from home is that I use my spare time to do my reading and work on assignments. Most of my classmates have to juggle homework with family life and that’s not easy. The first week of actual classes has been very exciting. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to read chapters in a textbook or write reports but we’ll see how that goes. I have 2 presentations to make next week and I’m quite nervous about speaking in front of our group. It’s exciting and terrifying all at the same time. I try to think back to when I was in university a few years ago (if I think about exactly how many I will go into shock). I can’t really remember much about the classes. I remember teachers that I liked and the few that I disliked. I remember the people and how much fun we had together and some of the crazy projects we came up with. The fact that I’m in school again seems a bit surreal, to be honest. I now have this school life with new friends in a new city and then when I’m back home I am a mom again with family and home responsibilities. I have these 2 different worlds going on. I think that’ll take a bit of time to get used to.
And, I am discovering that my family can actually function without me. They can make lunches, fill out back to school forms, and remember to do homework and go to bed without me. This is a bit of a strange feeling. Maybe they’ll get to enjoy not having me here telling them what to do? Then again, as the kids are getting older and more independent, I need to stop giving so many instructions. Maybe it will be good for all of this to go through this experience right now. I guess time will tell. I do know that they still need me for some things. My daughter asked me on Skype if I would be home to do laundry soon. Apparently I do it better than dad. Not sure if that’s exactly what I was going for, but I guess it will do for now.

Being There...Brought To You By Skype

It’s amazing how the mind works. This morning I woke up at 2:00 for an unwanted trip to the bathroom and started to think about the fact that I would be making the 3 hour drive back to school in a few hours. This is my first day of regular classes and also the first day of school for my kids. Both are heading off to new schools. I remind myself that I have never missed the first day of school and then I start calculating hours… if I got on the road by 8:15, I could be to school by 11:15 and that would only mean missing 3 hours of school. That’s not so bad, is it? At 2:00 AM it all seems possible. Then I feel the potential for this possibility to become reality. The indecision starts to kick in and then I start to get all sweaty and confused. All of this happens in a couple of minutes in the dark, in the bathroom. Then, reality quickly returns and I realize that no, I can’t skip MY first day of school. The kids won’t be scarred for life because they had to get ready without me and surely dad will remember to take the traditional photo with the backpacks. I’m sure they’ll cope just find without me… Skype will have to do.
By 11:30 my classes are done and again I feel the wave of anxiety and I begin to debate the possibility of leaving the big city to head home in time to see the kids and hear all about their first day. Again, the pressure mounts until I decide that it’s a lot of driving, gas, and lack of sleep for a few hours. A very important few hours, but I suppose everything can be reported to me via Skype. Yay for Skype. It wouldn’t be quite so bad if I had homework to do but we haven’t been given any assignments yet. So, I’ll fit in a workout at the Y.
I love technology! I timed out my activities so that I would be done at the Y just about the time the kids would be getting home from school. I hooked up to the internet in the parking lot and talked with the kids just moments after they returned from their first day. It’s like I was there! I kept the windows up so no one would notice that I was talking to my computer, but after the sweat started to roll down my forehead, I had to crack open a window. It was great, though. The kids told me all about their days – well, as much as you’re going to get from a boy in high school. But I could tell that he had a good experience by the look on his face and the thumb’s up. My daughter was a bit more descriptive and was also very happy with her classroom.
Who knows, I may fit in one more Skype conversation before bed!

How Small Town Is That?

Ah, the long weekend is here. I hate the way all the radio announcers keep saying it’s the last weekend of summer. Can we not just extend the summer a bit longer? We are having a bit of a lazy long weekend, I must admit. That’s ok. Sometimes lazy is excellent. We did a bit more back-to-school shopping yesterday. There’s always something that’s strangely satisfying about putting the freshly sharpened pencils into a clean new pencil case. It’s ridiculously expensive to buy all of these school supplies for the kids – how can pencils and 33 cent duo-tangs and a few other things add up to 80 dollars? Sigh.
As you may know, I grew up in a very small town --so small that technically it was a village. So, here I am living in a “city” and over the span of 10 years, 2 of my neighbours have come from my hometown. And, another 2 neighbours used to work in the same office as my dad. Now, I know this could happen in the big city, but 4 neighbours? I think it’s great.
This time when I’m going to university, I have a bit more “big town” experience than when I went from high school. I moved from a village of, well, under 1000 to Toronto. I seriously did turn and look when cars honked along Yonge Street. I grew up without cable tv and studied broadcasting. How strange is that? So, in class we would talk about programs like “The Tonight Show” and I had no idea what they were talking about. Seriously. Not a clue. Needless to say that it didn’t take long for me to get the small town sign on my forehead. But, I didn’t mind because it was all true and I loved being from a small town. And even though I was surrounded by thousands of strangers, sometimes I would accidentally meet up with people from home. That always amazes me that out of a sea of unfamiliar faces, you can somehow manage to connect with a face that you know. And, maybe it’s not even someone that you have met before. Maybe it’s just another friendly person who knows the benefits of a smile.
Today we all walked to the market for a family activity. That’s always interesting – walking too slow, walking too fast, walking sideways into someone… you get the picture. Nevertheless, it was an attempt at a family outing. It’s great at the market – fresh food and you run into people that you know. My grandma used to bring eggs into this market every Saturday when she was young. I think it’s cool to be living in the same area and going to the very same market many years later. Connections. I like that and I suppose that’s part of what makes me “small town”.

Finally On My Way...

Backpack is ready to go!
Well, yesterday was my last “normal” day with the kids for a while. We enjoyed our day together making cookies and some banana muffins. Then we hopped on our bikes and rode to the park for some sunshine and exercise. Now, speaking of small towns, I love the fact that we can go for a bike ride and stumble upon friends when we arrive at the park. How excellent is that? After a visit, my daughter zoomed over to check out the new playground equipment (still not too old to climb on the spinning-net-climbing-contraption). My teen decided he’d had enough and rode back home. My daughter and I hung out for awhile longer, eventually making our own way home to get some dinner together.
As I started packing later that evening, we all ended up congregating in our bedroom. Although the kids were watching tv, I think they just enjoyed everyone being together. Maybe we’re all a bit nervous about this new adventure – not sure exactly how the kids feel. I know I’m nervous.
I didn’t sleep very well. I was dreaming that I was on my first teaching placement and it was a complete bomb. Why is it that you feel like you are awake most of the night but when your alarm goes off, you are dead to the world? I dragged myself out of bed at 4:30, gave my cat a pat on the head and hopped in the shower to wake myself up. Of course, everyone is sleeping and that’s the time that I manage to drop the soap repeatedly and loudly.
I packed the car the night before, so all I had to do was make my tea, load up my backpack and prepare to hit the road. My dedicated husband always wants me to let him know when I’m leaving so I wake him up to say goodbye and then hopefully he falls right back to sleep. I’d much rather just sneak out and let him rest, but this little farewell gesture is important. I’m glad for it.
5:00 am and I’m on the road. Should make it by 7:30 if the traffic is good. Well, guess what? How could I possibly manage to get behind a ridiculously slow car at 5:30 in the morning? I don’t know but I did. I think I fould the only one. Once I lost this car I picked up a transport and then I was slowed by construction. Ahh! I did make it by 7:40, so still time to find a parking spot and my classroom.
I must admit that today I was actually looking forward to class. After years of wanting to do this, I am finally getting my chance. I miss the kids but now that we’ve experienced being away while I took a course in July, I know that we can all do it. It’s also great to be staying with my cousin because I don’t feel as lonely.
I picked my locker today, too. This just feels like high school all over again! I choose a locker number that matches my birth year (which will remain secret). That’s one of the hazards of going back to school in your… ah, well..later in life. It’s harder to remember where you left things. That being said, I must say that I am using my lock from high school -- can remember that number. I’m pretty proud of myself.

I really am, you know. Proud of myself.

back to school for mom?

With a tween and a teenager at home, I have decided to go back to school! Is this a way to avoid the next year of hormones I have coming to me? No. You might guess that, but I am really going to miss the kids. Really. I'm off to teacher's college - something I've always wanted to do - which wouldn't be such a big deal but it's 3 HOURS away...which means I'm staying out of town for multiple nights. ARGH! I'm never away that much. In the summer I took an additional course and this was a good trial but what a week to start out - same time as my son's grade 8 graduation and the last day of school. My daughter leaving her elementary school, where I have volunteered and worked and made friends. Big steps in both their lives. I have NEVER missed a last or first day of school for the kids. I'm sort of a stickler for stuff like that. So, I enlisted my husband to take the traditional photographs and even video tape. I was really hoping we could Skype in real time but the wireless wouldn't reach that far. :) OK, maybe that would be a bit much. I drove home for my son's graduation and then got up early the next morning and was to school by 9:30. I was SO tempted to skip the day and be there for that 3:25 bell but I didn't. I stuck it out in school with my heart breaking just a bit.

I think being away will be more difficult than being in school.