Better Late Than Never

Last night I was wide-awake. I don’t know why but I could not get to sleep. I thought I was tired. I thought I had worked hard enough to deserve a restful sleep but I guess I was wrong. Why is it that you can’t sleep when you really need it the most? I was leaving for school at 5:30 the next morning but I could not get to sleep! I tried getting up for a stroll, I tossed and turned, I tried a visit with the cat – aren’t animals supposed to relax you? Not in the wee hours of the morning. I refused to look at the clock because I have read that doing that only makes things worse. However, I was wondering if I should just get in the car and drive back to the city regardless of the time! So, I looked at the clock and it was 2:00 AM. If I had fallen asleep at that very moment, I would have had 3 hours of sleep before it was time to leave. At that point, I decided to turn off my alarm and just get some sleep. I figured that I would fall asleep eventually and when I woke up, I would be rested enough to make my 3 hour drive. Well, by 6:30 I was getting ready and on my way by 7:30. Needless to say, the day was not terribly productive.
I would say that generally, I have average luck. I think this is because some times I cram all of my bad luck into one day. You guessed it: this would be the day. Nothing horrible, but just those annoying little things seemed to happen. For example, I continued to get “stuck” behind slow moving vehicles, the roads were wet so I was constantly adjusting my wipers to keep the windshield clean and later, the sun was aligned perfectly with the wet road making the glare unbearable – especially without sunglasses. About 2 hours into the trip my washer fluid ran out and the little indicator light in my car did not come on. I did have a new bottle (good luck, I should add).
As I am writing this, I am realizing that although there were a number of annoying little things, I should focus on the fact that I had a safe drive, there was a parking spot right by the entrance (strange because the entire lot was full) when I was late, and I did pull off a little nap in the parking lot after classes.

A Christmas Break!

Yay, Christmas is coming! I have one more day left and then I get two weeks off for Christmas and I CANNOT WAIT! It’s been a bit of a bummer to be away from home in the weeks leading up to Christmas. However, we have a wonderful tree here in the home where I am staying and the Christmas music is abundant on the radio.
This break also means that I am more than half way through my course. After January, I should be home more than I am away before ending my course in April. Yahoo to that! We are all realizing how quickly time is flying by and how much work we have yet to do before completing our program. It’s busy, but very exciting at the same time.
And I have to remember that – this is only for a short time and I finally have an opportunity to do something that I have always wanted to do. Because of that, I am not allowed to complain about things! I need to remember how very special this is and how hard everyone at home is working to support me in reaching my goal.
Tomorrow my classmates and I are going out for a Christmas lunch during out spare. I should be working, but it’s also important to spend time with my new friends. I’ve met a great bunch of people and will miss the jokes and friendships when this comes to a close.

Merry Christmas!

Time Flying By

There are moments when you want time to pass by quickly – for example when you are sitting in a lecture that is far from stimulating. Then, there are times when you simply want the clock to stop moving – such as when everyone is snuggled together on the couch watching a movie.
These days, time seems to be flying by just a little too quickly. Now, part of me is ok with this because it means I will be done school and back home to stay before you know it. The other side of me does not want the time to move too fast because it means my kids will be just that much closer to finishing another year of school. Their lives are moving too quickly for me so accelerating their youth does not sit well with me. However, there is nothing that I can do about the passage of time, so I need to simply enjoy every moment that we have.
Lucky for me, I have two wonderful kids that still like to have me around. They enjoy watching movies together and spending time together. Their social lives have not taken off yet… so I am enjoying their company for as long as I can.
Tuesday morning was time for my usual drive back to the city. I came across a deer that had been hit and was still lying across my side of the road. A helpful plow driver was cautioning me with his flashing headlights so that I would slow down. After passing by this sad situation, I found myself becoming overwhelmed with emotion. I had not hit the deer, but I guess I was thinking of how sad it is that these collisions occur. Then this made me think about how lucky I have been to stay safe on the roads. Which led me to think about a young father who recently lost his wife and baby in a car accident. In an instant, his world was destroyed. It’s just not fair. So here I am in my car, driving in darkness, missing my family, and trying not to cry.
Life is filled with opportunities and misfortunes that we will never understand. My grandma always told me to “go while you can, Bon.” and do everything while I am able. I am trying to live out her advice – even if just a little.

Diiner For Two

Last week my daughter wanted me to just lay on the bed with her for a while. We relaxed, we talked and we just spent some time together doing absolutely nothing. She decided that we should do a mother-daughter activity some time soon. I thought that was a great idea and we decided on lunch.

The next weekend arrived and she was all excited. We decided we should try to do something “spa-like” before our lunch date. We did each other’s nails. She decorated mine with flowers and, aside from cotton ball fuzz sticking to the polish, I think they looked pretty good. She picked the spot for lunch and we left the boys behind.

At our table for two, we talked about how school was going, how she was enjoying her activities and if she was OK with me being away so much. I had one of those proud mother moments when she told me that she was really happy for me because I was going after something that I have always wanted to do. She reminded me that this was one of my dreams and how I am always telling them to do that. What a great kid! It could also be the fact that I am not home telling her what to do!

Lunch was very nice and I even splurged for dessert. We got some deep-fried ice cream (which was huge) and shared it.

The November day was beautiful and we ended our special time with some fun in the playground. These are the moments where all the craziness of life makes it all worth while.

Family Time Is Important!

For three weeks now I have been driving back and forth – 2 hours each way – for my work placement as part of my course. The experience has been incredible however this driving is really tiring me out. The trade-off is though, that I have been able to be home with my family in the evenings. This is worth all of the sleep that I am missing. It is so nice to be back home with my family – to sit together, tuck them into bed, and just be together under the same roof!
My daughter asked me to lie on the bed with her at bedtime last week and it hit me that maybe she is struggling at times with me being away. She has been very supportive and not really shown any signs of problems but maybe she just needed some time of being together – just the two of us. This past weekend we decided that this coming weekend we would have a girls night out. Well, actually it will be a girls lunch out, but you get the picture. She’d like to go out for lunch and do something together. I think this is a great idea and once I am all done my course in May, I plan to take her out for a real girls day and we’ll go to the spa or do something really special.
My son, on the other hand, wouldn’t be too thrilled with a day at the spa, so I’ll have to think about something that we could do together, too. Lunch would appeal to him, for sure, but I’ll try to come up with something for the two of us to do together, too.
As for my husband? He deserves some thanks, too, as he’s been running the house during this adventure, and I must say he’s not doing a bad job! I do like to remind him that he is basically doing what I’ve been doing for the past 13 years – just to keep him grounded!
There is no way I could be doing this course without the full support of my family and I look forward to being home all of the time and getting everything back to normal!

Doe - Yep! - A Deer...

Well, on Monday I left home at 6:30 in the morning for my work placement. It was cold and dark as I drove along the highway listening to the radio. I noticed some faint strips of colour in the sky just before 7:00 and was looking forward to seeing some sunshine for my 2 hour drive. Sunday night I was mentioning to my husband that part of me just did not want to go in the morning. The weekends are just way to short and I am really missing the kids. In a week I will be starting my 4 week placement and I plan on commuting so that I can be home every night. It is just so important to me to be home and tuck in the kids!

Anyway, I’m moving down the highway when suddenly in a flash I see the head of a deer in front of me. It all happened so quickly I had no time to react so the deer hit the front right corner of my car. I don’t think I swerved or even hit the breaks – it all happened in an instant. Of course, after that the panic set in.
I continued to drive my car because I didn’t want to pull over in the dark, I didn’t want to see the deer, and I didn’t know what to do! As my husband tried to calm me down on the cell phone (hands free, yes) I noticed that there was a new sound coming from the front wheel that shouldn’t be there. I began to realize that maybe there was some damage to my car. I suppose that happens when a deer collides with your vehicle traveling at 80 kph. At the next town I pulled over to discover that the hood, grill, passenger door and right fender were all damaged. Then the shock probably kicked in a bit more!

I phoned CAA (finally get to use them!) and the woman on the phone was really nice. She asked if I was ok and notified the police. She talked with me for a while to keep my company and I know she was trying to ease my mind with idle chatter. I appreciated it. After that I waited for the police to complete the report and eventually was driven back home with the tow truck.

What an ordeal! I have never had an experience like that and hope I never do again. It was very frightening.

So, this morning I had to leave the house at 5:00 and drive back to the city. I was a little reluctant to leave the house and was very nervous as I drove down the same black highway. I think I breathed a sigh of relief as I passed the dreaded spot but I still had both hands on the wheel and my eyes constantly checked the shoulders!
It could have been much worse. I had some specials angels watching out for me. But it does make you realize how a life can change drastically in the blink of an eye – actually, shorter than that. I think I’ll drive a bit slower from now on…

Halfway There

Well, I am 6 weeks into the program at teacher’s college. In some ways, it has really flown by. I look at the calendar and realize how close we really are to Christmas and reaching the half-way point in this adventure.

I miss my family terribly when I am away, but we can do this. My school placement begins in a couple of weeks and I am really looking forward to that. I will be in a town that is a bit closer to home so I will be able to commute every day. I can leave at 6:30 in the morning and be home by 6:00pm. That’s not bad. Some people have a schedule like that all the time. I was mentioning this new schedule to my son and he still thought I would be getting home late. Yep, it is late in his eyes. For most of his life I have been home in the morning when he leaves for school and I am there when he returns. Not many people have a schedule like that any more. That is one perk of self-employment: you have more control of your schedule and can fit in the work around family life. However, it also means that you are working in the evenings, early in the morning and on weekends. I must admit that I am looking forward to a more regular schedule as a teacher.

Thanksgiving weekend was awesome. It was so nice to have an extra day at home to spend with my family. We went to my parent’s for supper and didn’t have to rush away to get everyone to bed for school the next day. I like it when we don’t have to rush.
Tuesday morning I was up at my usual early hour and got ready for my drive. It’s still hard to drive away and look at the house where everyone is sound asleep. I miss not being there for them when they wake up.

My husband is doing a great job, I must admit, at keeping on top of the schedules and meals and actually, he’s even keeping the house tidy. It does save a lot of worry to know that they are getting along ok. But then again, he’s the guy and he’s not supposed to multi-task. That’s my job! Oh well, I guess I’ll let him continue to run the household – but only until the end of April and then it’s my job again.